


In Circles and Angles

by slash4femme



Category: Numb3rs
Genre: Charlie took Larry leaving for space surprisingly well in canon, F/M, I always felt that was out of character for them, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-27
Updated: 2014-03-27
Packaged: 2018-01-17 05:42:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1375972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slash4femme/pseuds/slash4femme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>four times on a beach, and Charlie decides normal is relative. <strong></strong></p>
            </blockquote>





	In Circles and Angles

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written in August 2009
> 
> written for the prompt 'the fourth time' for the group [](http://community.livejournal.com/24_times/profile)[ **24_times**](http://community.livejournal.com/24_times/) . All of the stories written for [](http://community.livejournal.com/24_times/profile)[](http://community.livejournal.com/24_times/) **24_times**   will have titles taken from the song _Love's Lines, Angles and Rhyme_ s. 

I.

Larry leaving for space is Charlie’s own private hell. He does as much as he possibly can to cover it, and for the most part it works. Most people know he’s unhappy about the whole thing, that he misses Larry, but very few know him well enough to understand what his single minded drive to do as math as possible or his sudden aggression in regards his relationship with Amita really means. Amita knows, but then again Amita is smarter then most.

“Slow down Charlie.” He blinks at her face and then down at the hand pressed against his chest. He’d been aiming for a kiss but that seems to be no longer in the picture.

“What?”

She sighs. “Look Charlie I really want stuff between us to work out, but you seem to have other stuff going on, and I don’t want . . .” She stops and looks at him for a long moment, chewing her lip. “I don’t want to come third, Charlie. Ok? I mean it’s already bad enough that everyone in your life comes second to the math, but I can deal with that. Just not this.”

He nods slowly frowning and watches her hand drop to her side. “I don’t think I really get what you’re talking about, but ok. If that’s what you want. You need space, do you need space? Because if that’s what you want . . . ” He gives a little worried laugh tilting his head to the side.

"I just want you to figure out whatever’s going on with you.” Amita sighs again, stuffing both hands in her pockets. “Just figure it out Charlie.” 

 

II.

He obsesses on the math so that he doesn’t have to obsess on Larry. He works Don’s cases, concentrates on his own work so he doesn’t have to think about how much he wants to go into Larry’s, now locked, office, or hear Larry’s voice. He knew he wouldn’t deal well with this but he has discovered he was wrong. He’s not capable of dealing with life without Larry at all.

The very idea that something might happen to Larry, that Larry might never come back makes him feel physically sick. Things happen in space all the time Charlie can’t help but think of the exact statistics of how often things go wrong. He thinks of these mostly at night when he’s trying to go to sleep so generally he doesn’t do a lot of sleeping. He does a lot of extra math instead.

He thinks of Larry a lot. Larry being safe and back in his life is Charlie’s favorite fantasy. He also thinks of touching Larry, holding Larry’s hand, touching Larry’s face or hair. It isn’t sexual, exactly, but it’s really, really not platonic either. He’s not quite sure what to do about that. 

 

III.

Larry still hasn’t managed to acclimatize himself to earth yet. Everything is flat and stationary, something he supposes he’d always taken for granted before. Simple things, like the sky, rocks, and the sea seem even more beautiful now. Daunting and grand in a way he’d always know, but never really fully appreciated.

And Charles, Larry sighs. He had missed him; he’d missed Charles a lot. Of course he’d missed all his friends. Megan, he’d missed his conversations and dinners with Megan a lot too.  He’d missed Alan, and his other friends, even Don and Amita. He’d missed Charles the most though, and that was disturbing if not unexpected. Larry pulls his legs closer to his chest feels rocks crunch and shift under his weight has his sneakers move against the ground.   

Everything seems so new, so bright and infinitely more complex then it had before he’d gone into space. Before what his feels for Charles seemed almost manageable, Megan was a lovely person; a beautiful woman and Charles had Amita. Now though, now Larry feels vulnerable, new and tender and he doesn’t like it, it makes things more complicated.

Behind him rocks clatter and roll away down the hill and Larry turns not at all surprised to find Charles making his way towards him down the beach.

 

IV.

The first time Charlie came to that particular small rocky beach it had been to find Larry. Larry had slept there the night before and Charlie had been concerned with that as he always was with Larry’s homelessness. He’d also not been able to stop watching Larry. He knew he was staring, at Larry’s hair and small body, the way Larry’s hand moved through the air, touched his own face as he talked. He hadn’t seemed to be able to stop touching Larry either, although Larry seemed to be unusually uncomfortable with it, shying away from Charlie’s touch. Charlie knew he should stop, but just couldn’t seem to make himself stop touching Larry’s shoulder or back, wanting to take Larry’s hand.

 The night Larry had stayed at Charlie’s house Charlie hadn’t been able to sleep at all, his whole body hyper-focusing on Larry in the other room. 

The second time he’d come there was after Larry left for the monastery. Because the frustration of Larry being so close, well closer then space at least, and yet so far away from Charlie, was particularly hard for him to contain. He hadn’t done much that time though, except walk and throw rocks at the sea until he’d exhausted himself enough to go home and work on the math for Don’s latest case.

This time he’d come here to think. He sits on the shore watching the water come in and out against the rocks. In the end he supposes it’s simple, he needs Larry, he wants Larry. Charlie needs Larry to be close, right now he’s thinking close would be within arms reach for the rest of their lives and that would be ok with him. He’s not sure about the rest, love, sex, and romance. He’s not good at all that just ask Amita. He draws his knees up against his chest and sighs. He just really, really wants to be with Larry. Everything else he’s willing to try to work out as they go. He leans his cheek against the top of his knees, he hopes Larry feels the same way, and if Larry doesn’t if Larry wants to go on living like he has or even settle down with Megan Charlie hopes he can at least extract some kind of promise from Larry. To never go farther then CalSci again, for any reason, ever. Charlie groans softly and presses his forehead against his knees. It’s all very bad and messed up, and he’s not sure how to fix it.

 

V.

The fourth time he comes to the beach he’s surprised to see someone else is already there.  As he approaches the figure turns, lifts one hand towards Charlie but whether in greeting or to block out the early morning sun Charlie’s not sure.

“I thought you were still at the monastery?” 

Larry shrugs his shoulders hunching over slightly against the cool wind coming off the water. “I seem to have gone as far as this stage of my journey of self -contemplation will allow.”

Charlie watches him and realizes the desire to touch Larry hasn’t lessened any since the last time they saw each other. “Megan will be happy.”  

Larry peers of at Charlie, his shoulders still hunched, looking unusually serious, holding himself completely still in a way Charlie had never known him to do before. “What do you want Charles?”

It’s an extremely forthright question, very unlike Larry really, leaving no room for anything but the completely truth. It’s also a fair question and Charlie rubs his suddenly sweating palms against his jeans and wishes he knew the answer.  Larry turns a little away from Charlie looking at the sea. Charlie can’t help it, he reaches out and touches Larry’s shoulder. This time Larry doesn’t flinch away from his touch just turns and gives him a small smile.

“I’m glad you’re back.” Charlie says softly, liking the warmth and solidness of Larry’s shoulder under his hand. “I’m not that good at being alone I think.”

Larry smile broadens slightly at that. “Anyone who knows you Charles is well aware of that fact. That is why Alan still lives with you. In any case,” Larry glances back at the sea again, “you are never alone.”

Charlie frowns, dropping his hand away from Larry’s shoulder, stuffing it in his pocket instead. It’s his turn to look out at the sea. For a long moment they stand together almost touching watching the waves and Charlie tries hard not to see the math behind every wave’s ebb and swell and then gives up.

“Beautiful.” Larry’s voice is soft and Charlie nods.

“Yes. Especially in the morning I think.”

Larry doesn’t answer only looks at him sideways biting his lip and Charlie takes a breath.

“I said I’m not good at being alone.” He looks up at Larry who’s looking at his shoes against the stones. “What I meant was I’m not good at being away from you.”

Larry’s gaze comes up to meet Charlie’s a little shocked, a little questioning and Charlie takes two steps forward, takes Larry by the shoulders and kisses him softly. Just a gentle press of lips and it’s a little awkward but not as much as he thought it might be and after a moment Larry pulls away slightly. “Charles I don’t think I can do this.” Larry’s voice is serious and a little regretful but the hand that had crept to grip Charlie’s waist as they kissed is still there and Charlie takes comfort in that. He nods slowly leaning into Larry. “Nothing too complex, yeah? Just . . . just promise me you won’t go away again?”

Larry laughs softly making no move to lean away from Charlie’s gentle pressure against him. “With you, Charles, everything is complex.” Larry looks up to meet Charlie’s gaze and Charlie sees something almost tentative in Larry’s eyes. He leans forward kisses him again, this time deepening the kiss a little more and it’s not as awkward the second time, not like anything he’s ever done before, but he thinks it’s a taste he could acquire, a habit he might want to have. No one has ever fit him as well as Larry does, and that means something, for Charlie that might mean everything.  He’s not good at romance he never has been. Larry’s hand comes up to cup the back of his neck pulling him down slightly so that their foreheads press together.

“You don’t . . .” Charlie licks his lips watches the pulse point at the base of Larry’s neck, thinks about pressing his fingers there. “You don’t have to promise anything . . . nothing, it doesn’t have to change . . . if you want to you can still, ” He thinks of Megan, tries hard not to think about Amita, or Don, or Alan or anyone else who might be relying on him to function even slightly normally. “Come home with me?”  

Larry only smiles and nods, and on their way to the car, Charlie finally gives into temptation and holds Larry’s hand. “Did you walk here?” Charlie nods and Larry opens the passenger door to his car. “How early in the morning did you get up?”

Charlie shrugs he hasn’t been sleeping well, hasn’t been sleeping well since Larry left the first time. Larry gives him a long look but says nothing, only starts the car.

When they get to the Eppes’ house Alan is not at home. Charlie finds he doesn’t really care either way anymore, just takes Larry by the hand and leads him into the small guest room with the futon where Larry had slept his second night back on earth. Larry hesitates slightly but he doesn’t say anything either when Charlie pulls him onto the futon-become-couch. Charlie drops Larry’s hand when they are sitting next to each other. He looks at Larry for a long time then gently touches Larry’s cheek, hands ghosting over the line of Larry’s jaw, up to his slightly reseeding hairline, down to the lines just appearing around his eyes. Larry frowns and bites his lip but remains strangely quiet, and Charlie’s hand drifts down to Larry’s shoulders, drifts down his arms and Larry tilts his head to the side as if considering something then leans forward and kisses Charlie. Charlie sighs softly, happily and leans into the kiss deciding that kissing Larry definitely gets better with practice. Larry’s hands drift down Charlie’s chest, to his hips, making small circles with his thumbs through the fabric of Charlie’s jeans before coming back up to gently stroke along Charlie’s upper arms, back down his chest to settle against Charlie’s stomach.  Charlie feels a moment of self-consciousness about his weight and Larry touching him their and then Larry’s tongue gently flicks into his mouth rubbing against his own and Charlie forgets all about his body image and instead presses a hand to the back of Larry’s head.

When they finally pull back Charlie tries hard to remember how to breathe normally while he gets his thoughts in order. He wants this, he might have always wanted this, and he knows that. On the other hand he doesn’t want to rush Larry or make Larry choose between Charlie and whatever other life Larry might have planned. Charlie also doesn’t know if he can do this, if hurting the people around him the way he knows this will hurt them is worth it. Larry’s hand is still pressed against Charlie stomach; Larry’s curls soft under his own palm and Charlie licks his lips, decides this is when he becomes a grown-up and makes a decision.

“Stay?”

Larry hesitates for a moments and then nods. He leans a fraction or so closer to Charlie, eyes falling shut. Charlie sighs and closes his own eyes, pressing his face against Larry’s shoulder and hopes the decision they are making is the right one. Then thinks that this might be the only outcome he’s capable of living with, and he’s not sure why that should fill him with sudden warmth, or why when he straightens back up he can see that Larry is smiling.          
  
 

 

 


End file.
